Careful

I am in the process of moving. Well, the tail end of it now. I moved, with the help of my brother, all my furniture from OKC to Clinton. And in the midst of unpacking, yet again, I lost this thing. This roll of weather strip, the stuff that you put in the door to seal drafts and such. Two days again I was annoyed at myself because it seemed like I bought umpteen rolls of the stuff but today I was noticed a draft by the front door and now I cannot find a single roll of the stuff.

Today is the 3rd or 4th Sunday that I have not preached. And it feels so good. I also haven't been to church in 3 or 4 Sundays. I haven't read my Bible or the lectionary in that time. Granted I have been in the state of turmoil and chaos over moving, getting paid (or not getting paid) and trying to put together a board . I was starting to worry about my lack of church desire because if I remember correctly it took about 4 or 6 months at Drew before I started to miss it. It may have been a year. I don't think my reprieve will last that long. Eventually I will have to start visiting churches for fundraising stuff. But for now I am so happen about not having to do the whole sermon preperation.

I used to dread Sunday mornings. I would toss and turn all night on Saturdays and then almost refuse to get up to write the sermon on Sundays. That was another thing. I absolutely could not get myself to write my sermon before Sunday Morning. I would try to plan it on Mondays and then plan to finish writing it by Wenesday so I could do rewrites and so forth. But they never seemed to come til Sunday Mornings. I wasn't really like this in school. It may have been rewrites the night before but I would never wait till 2 hours before.

I think its the having to preach every Sunday that gets to me. I don't have enough recovery time between Sundays. It takes a lot out of me to preach. When I preach the way I want to, at the end its like everything in me is emptied out. But if I preach like that every Sunday, I would get burned out so, part the lack of disciple is self-defense. And it takes a lot of nerve to preach what does come on Sunday Mornings. Sometimes I would sit in my chair behind the pulpit and have to talk my self into preaching during Sunday Morning worship. It would be because I realised that my topic or an example in my sermon may hit a person a little more strongly than I am comfortable with. I decided to preach about death on Sunday but then during the worship part this young woman walked in with her family. She had lost her mother the week before and I didn't want to be insensitive to her pain. I had figured she would be with her family in a different town because of the funeral. But there she was and that death sermon wanted to be preached that day. That took a lot of convincing to get in the pulpit that day. Well, anyway this is a welcome break from all that worry for a little bit.

The title is a Guster song that I like. Now I have to go find that thing I lost.