Its still the month of May. I would have felt bad if I had missed a month.
I was invited to preach at Student Forum on Memorial day weekend. It was...interesting to say the least. It was held in Washington DC, at American University. I had no idea that American University was a United Methodist School. The things you learn. I was excited to get this oportunity to speak but then I wrote my sermon and I was scared of it.
I never hear other people talk about their sermons this way. That they are scared of them. I wonder if I am truly just a scaredy cat or if people just don't say anything. I was scared of mine because it was a sermon meant to challenge the young people and their desire to change the church. And in my mind it was a bit....something. I would rather it be a realistic challenge as oppose to me on my high horse...
I was scared of my sermon. I talked about racism, love, change, the past, clear sight and trajectories. Which is always scary talking about such things. So maybe its not strange that I was scared of it.
I also preached in front of Bishop John Schol. I have never preached in front of a bishop before. He decided to make an appearance on my night to speak. I freaked out when worship leader Delyn told me. We then both decided that he would probably say hello then sneak out as important people often do. He did not. I was sitting up front behind the pulpit which was the kind that you have to use stairs to get into. I keep peeking around the pulpit to see if he had left. He never did. When I preaching up there, I noticed that his eyes were closed from time to time. I may have put a Bishop to sleep. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm kinda proud of that. Or I am proud that I kept waking him up. Well here is my sermon. It sounded better outloud.
Mark 12:29-31
Our scriptures, the Condensed version:
JC says: Or as my Systematic Theology professor calls him, Dr JC
Dr JC says
Love God with heart, mind, soul.
Love yourself
Love your neighbor
Yes, I put yourself before neighbor because the sentence love the neighbor as yourself sort of implies that you should already know how to love you and because you know how to love you, you should be able to know how to love the neighbor.
Love God with heart, mind and soul
Love yourself,
Love your neighbor.
And just to give you a heads up. I am abrupt. I began abruptly, I rarely segue well and usually I end just as abruptly.
The scripture that was picked turned out to be difficult. The simplicity of Jesus words had complex ramifications. Jesus ended up crucified, the disciples, also tortured and killed, the followers, Christians hunted down, tortured, thrown in jail, feed to the lions to entertain roman masses and killed.
Love God with heart, mind and soul
Love yourself
Love the neighbor
Simple words, simple concept but thinking of the history of Christianity of the history of Christianity in the United States alone, if it is so simple, why can’t we simply do it? Why haven’t we got the hang of it yet?
Love God
Love yourself
Love the neighbor
When I was a child, I loved going to church. The church I grew up in was a small Indian church of 30 or 40 members, many of whom were my family members, way out in the woods. The services were in the Choctaw language and they had Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night services, and every 5th Sunday they had all day services and singing. There was even a hog killing cabin so there would be fresh meat for the 5th Sunday.
When I was four, I decided I wanted to be a missionary when I grew up. In my four year old mind, a missionary was simply one who works with the church. When I got older and I learned about what some missionaries, what the church and what the government did to native people, I was embarrassed about my four year old ambition.
But it wasn’t until Seminary that I got mad. Sitting in Church history I listened to stories of the removal and of slavery and the church’s role in all of it. I was mad and sick the listening to the church’s bloody history. I read a story of an Jewish man who was angry at God about the Holocaust. He said, “Even God cannot undo the past” and I agreed with him. Even God could not undo what had been done. And I wrestled because I knew God had called me. I told God that I wasn't going to go back home to Oklahoma, to the Oklahoma Indian Missionary Conference as an agent of the Institutional church that to this day doesn't seem to want to understand racism, study racism. They don’t want to explore the history of racism in the institution, and to tell them to forgive the church. How was I suppose to tell them to forgive when I couldn't. And I would not forgive what the church did.
I went to Africa, Ghana for my cross cultural credits at Drew. We visited two of 24 slave castles. We were led from room to room, led into the almost airless dungeons underground. The tour guide talked about the atrocities that happened there and he also told that the surrounding village of El Mina, he said they didn't remember what had happened there. They went on and lived their lives with no memory of the horror.
When I heard that my first thought was “Oh I understand that. What happened here was so bad, it was so horrendous that nothing anybody did was ever going to put it right, to fix it, and to insure no one tries to fix it, we will tell people we do not remember.” I don’t know if that is what they thought, maybe they really just forgot, but as I walked back to our tour bus, looking at the faces of the young people trying to sell us things, coming from a background of cultural collective memory myself, I don't think they have forgotten.
I came back to the US, and thought about the people of El Mina and I thought about Native people all trapped in some sort of loop of pain and horror that generation after generation is forced to live out. Something had to be done but I refused to forgive. Despite my best effort and considerable will power, I ended up with two churches in Oklahoma on the ordination track. The first church offered to me was a church that had dwindled down to two little girls. I said no, but I remembered my home church and how I loved going to church. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if there had been no church. I said yes. I figured the two girls weren't going to expect me to preach, probably Sunday school type stuff.
As I started going, in the back of my mind I began thinking of the things the church had gotten wrong with Indian people. I thought, this church will not ever tell these kids that they are not welcome. They will learn about a God that loves every cultural bit of them. They will here that their culture, their language, their brown skin is a gift from God. The church is not perfect, but I am the church too and I will change what the church means in these little kids lives. As long as I am here the church will not hurt them.
I went from 2 to about 15 and about 30 on holidays. Which is a lot considering I am the only adult most of the time. Strangely the kids turned out to be quite demanding about communion. They understood the meaning of it and they liked taking communion. Most of the kids live with a 3 block radius of the church and sometimes they drag me home with them to meet parents and to see where they live. The kids just show up, no parents brings them, if they see my car in the parking lot they all come running over.
The church in the middle of a Cheyenne/Arapaho community. My kids are mostly Cheyenne/Arapaho. The Cheyenne and Arapaho people are the people of the Sand Creek Massacre, where a village of the people were killed under the leadership of Colonel Chivington who was also a Methodist Minister. One of the pastor of OIMC, his great, great grandparents escaped the Sand Creek massacre only to be killed four years later at the Massacre of the Washita in 1868. The site of this massacre is just northwest of where the church is.
The church and the government’s involvement in the removal, in the boarding schools, in the relocation acts, in trying to kill the Indian and save the man, well, neither have a good reputation in Oklahoma. I figure this is why adults aren't coming to the church.
They are also sun dance ceremonial people, and the church, even the Indians churches haven’t always been supportive of culture. Some of our Indian churches are still living out the harsh rules and regulations of the missionaries that taught them and think Native culture is wrong.
But I like to think that what I am doing with the kids, my determination that they learn of a God who thinks they are special and extraordinary, what goes on there is helping undo some of the past. I think of what that Jewish man said about “Even God not being able to undo the past” I had agreed with him at the time but now, I think its possible to undo the past. Or to break the hold the past can have on a person. By breaking the hold of the past has on you, you are then able to change the trajectory of where you were heading to someplace different.
It was in working with the kids helped change the trajectory of where that church was headed which was to be closed down and now it is in the process of becoming a church and community center through GBGM. I like to think its helping change the trajectory of where the kids are headed because it has helped change the trajectory of where I was headed.
Because in the midst of it all, I think I figured out how to forgive the church. To be honest, I was disappointed when I realized it because that is not what I intended to do. But its not there anymore, its gone. What helped it go was that I keep thinking, I am the church too and I’ll do something different.
Doing something different. There is this singer, this rap star, Akon, who has a song where he talks about the many things he has done wrong and he says he is sorry for all of it and then he apologizes for things that have happen that wasn't his fault but he knows that some has to take the blame so he says you can blame him. It kills me that this random guy, random rap singer, understands and grasps the value of saying "I am sorry", of taking the blame even when he feels it is not his fault but knows that someone has too when the church cannot or will not understand. It kills me.
Christians, are we are so full of pride in what we are, we are so sure that we are right in what we are doing that the idea of being wrong, the idea of needing to say "I’m sorry" never enters our minds? The rap guy was willing to take the blame for things that he didn't do, doesn't that remind you of someone else? Who else took the blame for things he did not do and died on the cross? A rap guy found a way to be more Christ-like and the church has not.
Church, if you want to change, Then do something different. It begins with you. Love God with your mind and study. Study the past in order to understand our present, how we got here, how the church came to its present state and where we are headed. Study the evolution of our understanding of God and God’s will for the people. Study the mistakes the church made and study what the church got right. Study so that we can understand and know what part of the Church’s past is holding on to us and won’t let us change. What do we need to address in order for the past to let go of us? So that we can change the trajectory of where our church is headed.
Love God with your heart and your soul. Let your heart be like Jesus’ heart. The compassion, the love for the people, and in the case of the syro-phenisian woman, the ability and willingness to learn. Live out what you are learning with your mind and with your heart. Live it out. Let your actions prove you are a follower of Christ and not your words. Let us be inspired where Jesus took the blame because he knew someone had to. Even though he wasn't to blame. Its not going to be easy, I won’t lie to you, Jesus sat in the garden of Gethsemane and prayed to God and asked if there was some other way.
We are the church, all of us here, So church, let us take responsibility, let us take the blame, Let us be courageous and do what the church has been unable to do before. Let us look at the past, let us say I am sorry and let us work to change the trajectory of where we are going. But the cost of discipleship is high, so count the cost, do not go into this blind, count the cost of what it means to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. Of being Christ- like.
And before I close I would like to add more thing. you know, our Gospel lesson is taken from Mark, I have a great fondness for Mark. The Gospel of Mark is thought to be the earliest gospel written.[1] Even though it is after Matthew. And it is also thought that the author of the Gospel of Mark ended his story of Jesus at chapter 16:8
“And the women came out and ran away from the tomb because they were frightened out their wits; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.” [2]
The story is thought to have ended at the empty tomb. Some bibles will mention this and leave a space between verse 8 and the verse 9. Mark’s ending seems to be a warning and encouragement to the followers of Jesus and the church. The story will end here if you have no faith.
Church, our story is not over. Even when we have done everything humanly possible, our story will not be over if we have faith. So let us gather up our courage, gather up our faith and let us begin our work.
[1] Matera, Frank J. New Testament Christology. Louisville, KY: Westminster Jon Knox. Pg 5.
[2] The New Jerusalem Bible. NY: American Bible Society, 1985.
