The Christmas play is over! I survived! Mainly cause my mom came and helped me. Last year, I did the play but I had no idea it was so involved. So I asked my mom to do it this year. We also had 7 adults in attendence this year. Last year we had 2. We are improving. Perhaps next year we will have a packed house. Here is a part of the play and one of the kids.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Africa
I mean the song "Africa" of course. Toto. I heard this on the radio on the way to a christmas party and laughed my head off...though it is a little more funny seeing the video. I had posted the original performance of this group from 10 years ago but its not playing anymore. So this is a more recent recording of the same group.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thanksgiving
Last year, around the end of Nov, I asked the kids at Clinton if they had learned what Thanksgiving was about at school. They said they learned that a long time ago, the pilgrims saved the Indians because the Indians were hungry and couldn't get food. I was horrified at their response. And I was so mad, I think I stuttered before getting out the real story of Native people.
This year I began early, the end of October, the beginning of Nov talking about thanksgiving. A basic generic story of how the pilgrims had come from another country and since they had come from another country they didn't know how to work the land and they didn't know how to grow food here. The native people were from here so they knew the land so they had food. I asked the kids, what do you think the indians did when they saw that the pilgrims were hungry and had no food?
One ten-year-old boy said, "They gave the pilgrims food but they shouldn't have done it. Look how we get treated today. I wouldn't have shared my food with them."
The entire dilemma of being Native and being Christian can be summed in a single question. And it is a question that I have wrestled with my entire life. The question being: knowing what I know now, would I have chosen to help that group of hungry people. I am sure that if those Indians had chosen not to share, not much would have changed the outcome, we just wouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving.
But it is an issue that most Native Christians have to deal with or figure out how to ignore every thanksgiving. Native Christian pastors have to figure out how to preach about giving thanks knowing the horrendous things that happend to Native people. Knowing that we have never been able to properly grieve. Knowing that even though Nov is Native American Heritage month, we are still invisable...
My initial response to the question has been the same as that ten-year-old boy's. I wouldn't have shared my food. But that response goes against my upbringing, both Native and Christian. So I usually grumble and say well, I would have given them the food I don't like. I preached at another revival this past week where I talked about that little boy. I talked about my anger with the church, about my work in Clinton, and about my being able to let go of that angry. To forgive.
That we who have been hurt by the church and so many people are out who have been hurt in the name of God, Native and non-native. We who have been hurt could go out and do something different because we are the church too. It was hard for me, the whole topic was hard because part of me wanted to agree with that child. But it was the other part of me that answered him. I told him that as Christians, we were meant to live a certain way and God intends that way to include sharing. The Native people long ago also knew there was a good way to live and a way that wasn't so good. No matter what happened later, they chose to live the good way.
But the hard part was that it seemed that those long ago Natives knew all about loving the neighbor and the people who were told by Jesus to love the neighbor did not love the neighbor and now Native people must wrestle with whether or nor they would have.
Wesley's simple rule "do no harm" is so much harder to live out because so much harm has already been done. Native people have a right to their anger but seeing anger and bitterness in a child's eyes doesn't seem like the good way. Native Christians and others who have been hurt by the church, we are the church too and we can do something different. We do not have to perpetuate the hurt done to us by the good church folk. Or another way of saying that would be, we Native people can continue to do as we have already done, we can share our food.
This year I began early, the end of October, the beginning of Nov talking about thanksgiving. A basic generic story of how the pilgrims had come from another country and since they had come from another country they didn't know how to work the land and they didn't know how to grow food here. The native people were from here so they knew the land so they had food. I asked the kids, what do you think the indians did when they saw that the pilgrims were hungry and had no food?
One ten-year-old boy said, "They gave the pilgrims food but they shouldn't have done it. Look how we get treated today. I wouldn't have shared my food with them."
The entire dilemma of being Native and being Christian can be summed in a single question. And it is a question that I have wrestled with my entire life. The question being: knowing what I know now, would I have chosen to help that group of hungry people. I am sure that if those Indians had chosen not to share, not much would have changed the outcome, we just wouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving.
But it is an issue that most Native Christians have to deal with or figure out how to ignore every thanksgiving. Native Christian pastors have to figure out how to preach about giving thanks knowing the horrendous things that happend to Native people. Knowing that we have never been able to properly grieve. Knowing that even though Nov is Native American Heritage month, we are still invisable...
My initial response to the question has been the same as that ten-year-old boy's. I wouldn't have shared my food. But that response goes against my upbringing, both Native and Christian. So I usually grumble and say well, I would have given them the food I don't like. I preached at another revival this past week where I talked about that little boy. I talked about my anger with the church, about my work in Clinton, and about my being able to let go of that angry. To forgive.
That we who have been hurt by the church and so many people are out who have been hurt in the name of God, Native and non-native. We who have been hurt could go out and do something different because we are the church too. It was hard for me, the whole topic was hard because part of me wanted to agree with that child. But it was the other part of me that answered him. I told him that as Christians, we were meant to live a certain way and God intends that way to include sharing. The Native people long ago also knew there was a good way to live and a way that wasn't so good. No matter what happened later, they chose to live the good way.
But the hard part was that it seemed that those long ago Natives knew all about loving the neighbor and the people who were told by Jesus to love the neighbor did not love the neighbor and now Native people must wrestle with whether or nor they would have.
Wesley's simple rule "do no harm" is so much harder to live out because so much harm has already been done. Native people have a right to their anger but seeing anger and bitterness in a child's eyes doesn't seem like the good way. Native Christians and others who have been hurt by the church, we are the church too and we can do something different. We do not have to perpetuate the hurt done to us by the good church folk. Or another way of saying that would be, we Native people can continue to do as we have already done, we can share our food.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Rednecks for Obama
Check it out. http://rednecks4obama.com
I saw this article http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081009/pl_afp/usvoteobamarednecks
a couple of days ago. Made me a little teary eyed and I feel better about the world in general these days.
So, ok. Obama is hugely popular because he is African American. But I think only he could say some of the things he is saying and have it mean something. It is because he is not white, it means something to the people. Have to think about that one for a few days...
So, last Friday, my one strong church member called for a healing service. No biggie. Towards the end (the church folk are of the more old school chruch type that have church for hours and hours) I invited those that felt lead to share to share...I was listening as several people talk about their upbringing. They talked about their faithful parents and the fact that these parents prayed so that they felt they never had to. But now the parents are gone and they have realised that they need to pray themselves.
One of the things that I feel is a shortcoming as a pastor is that I have been a christian as long as I can remember. Even when I rebelled in college, I never left the church. And I like the church. I have many fond memories of the church I grew up in. I'm not bragging nor do I think I am better, actually, I think this all detracts from my ability to connect with the people in my congregation.
I was already fighting an uphill battle with them (the adults -about 5 people). They let their church go. By all rights, that church should have been closed. They stopped coming because they had a crappy pastor. But I have a complete lack of compassion for them. They let their church go. I could possibly let it go but the adults are hostile about me being there (apparently I am too young) and about the children and the church and community center being there. The adults have no interest in the community center. Whatever. I am doing my job to the best of my ability working with children and grown folks who act like children. I really prefer the kids. Its frustrating waiting for grown people to get over themselves.
I did have a non-bitter insight earlier today. My beloved church I grew up in. The ultra conservative small United Methodist Choctaw church. The services were all held in Choctaw. The language that I don't speak or understand. They spoke choctaw and sang in choctaw and really I never knew what they were saying. I could intuit what was being said so I learned about church by people's actions. Meaning I never heard any ultra conservative language. At Drew there were those who had grown up in conservative churches and who were deeply hurt by it.
I find that interesting. Maybe its not. But I have long held the idea that Christianity should be action over talking. Or in simpler terms, Christian should just shut up.
But you gotta love those rednecks right? I do.
I saw this article http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081009/pl_afp/usvoteobamarednecks
a couple of days ago. Made me a little teary eyed and I feel better about the world in general these days.
So, ok. Obama is hugely popular because he is African American. But I think only he could say some of the things he is saying and have it mean something. It is because he is not white, it means something to the people. Have to think about that one for a few days...
So, last Friday, my one strong church member called for a healing service. No biggie. Towards the end (the church folk are of the more old school chruch type that have church for hours and hours) I invited those that felt lead to share to share...I was listening as several people talk about their upbringing. They talked about their faithful parents and the fact that these parents prayed so that they felt they never had to. But now the parents are gone and they have realised that they need to pray themselves.
One of the things that I feel is a shortcoming as a pastor is that I have been a christian as long as I can remember. Even when I rebelled in college, I never left the church. And I like the church. I have many fond memories of the church I grew up in. I'm not bragging nor do I think I am better, actually, I think this all detracts from my ability to connect with the people in my congregation.
I was already fighting an uphill battle with them (the adults -about 5 people). They let their church go. By all rights, that church should have been closed. They stopped coming because they had a crappy pastor. But I have a complete lack of compassion for them. They let their church go. I could possibly let it go but the adults are hostile about me being there (apparently I am too young) and about the children and the church and community center being there. The adults have no interest in the community center. Whatever. I am doing my job to the best of my ability working with children and grown folks who act like children. I really prefer the kids. Its frustrating waiting for grown people to get over themselves.
I did have a non-bitter insight earlier today. My beloved church I grew up in. The ultra conservative small United Methodist Choctaw church. The services were all held in Choctaw. The language that I don't speak or understand. They spoke choctaw and sang in choctaw and really I never knew what they were saying. I could intuit what was being said so I learned about church by people's actions. Meaning I never heard any ultra conservative language. At Drew there were those who had grown up in conservative churches and who were deeply hurt by it.
I find that interesting. Maybe its not. But I have long held the idea that Christianity should be action over talking. Or in simpler terms, Christian should just shut up.
But you gotta love those rednecks right? I do.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
So What (Seriously I should have been a rock star)
I am in my home office listening to Pink thinking about Politics, economics, dirty dishes and worrying about the fact that I am still in my jammies at 1:00pm. I resolve to be dressed for the day by two. I may even go to my work site. (yes I know it all sounds wrong)
POLITICS: I watched the VP debate too. but I may not be able to watch anymore. Seriously, doesn't it depress you? I used to think that there was a government conspiracy because how else did Bush stay in office but as I go around registering folks to vote, listening to folks talk and buy into what the republicans are saying, as well as listening to smart people not wanting to register to vote because of the failings of the democratic party, I no longer think there was a conspiracy. The American people actually voted to keep Bush in office. And now I am afraid, as I was afraid during the last election. The republicans are going to win.
Of course, the republican party wants people to be afraid. Not for the same reasons that I am afraid. But fear is a powerful motivator. Fear will drive all those survivalists people hiding in the woods but who are registered to vote to get out and vote and they will indeed vote. Fear may be driving me to such stark imagery but can you kinda get what I am saying? Then the people who are not impressed with democrats, who aren't registered to vote anyway, will stay at home making sanctimonious remarks about not having anyone to vote for. And poor Tina Fey will be doomed to play Palin for four years (eight years).
I was an Obama fan early on. I liked him better than Clinton. Though I may have felt better with a Obama/Clinton ticket(I am voting for Obama/Biden) I loved how the idea of Obama becoming president seemed to rally the people. The young people, the non-white community who generally feel voting in elections made no difference, the ones who previously felt that their voices were unheard. Or I watched that Will. I. Am. video too much. But people seemed to find hope in the idea of Obama as president. I loved it. Seeing hope on faces. But then Obama made that remark about small town people during a fundraiser. The guns and religion remark. I will agree that the remark is probably more true than not true but, again all those small town religious gun folk are all registered to vote and they will go out and vote. But not for Obama.
As the heat turns up and political manipulations are getting more desperate...I just don't know. I know perfection is not a reality in dealing with people. But I rather dislike the concept of democracy and of freedom that our country claims we have. Its the reason that many people weren't voting in the first place, they saw through the facade. Its the reason I wasn't voting. But, as I tell folks reluctant to register and vote, that reason wasn't working so its time to try something different. Perhaps if we all just admit that we have a faulty system...?
Some other thoughts: Obama is hugely popular because he is an african american. If he was a white man, would he have made it this far talking about change while having less experience?
Honestly, no. Poor Palin is trying the same trick as a woman. But (I think) its not working as well for her as it is for Obama. So Politics comes down to the devil you know as oppose to the one you don't know. And the American mob is saying we know the republicans.
And I'm afraid.
MONEY
I'm not afraid of the wall street crisis. or by Belgian InBev buying out Budweiser, the great American lager. I am not ignorant of what could happen...I just am not afraid. Granted I don't have any money, stocks, a house or anything. I went to a dinner/theater thing at my Alma Mater Oklahoma City University, sat by strange luck at the same table with the President of OCU, the Bishop of both Oklahoma conferences and the treasurer of the Oklahoma conference. Topics turned to money. The President of OCU, Tom McDaniels asked the Conference Treasurer what he thought. Brian said something about being responsible for either 6 or 10 million dollars of the conference's money. they talk about decisions about building houses about stocks. I listened politely but I don't have any money or a house. My church literally has no money. Am I the lucky one?
Worse comes to worse, we will survive in my conference because the majority of us have no money and we know how to make do. Though I feel bad for Brian and his millions of dollars of responsibility. It makes my stomach hurt to think about it. I actually can't tell if my thinking is off or not. It feels wrong but....
Its almost 2:00pm. I need to go get dressed and make some phone calls.
POLITICS: I watched the VP debate too. but I may not be able to watch anymore. Seriously, doesn't it depress you? I used to think that there was a government conspiracy because how else did Bush stay in office but as I go around registering folks to vote, listening to folks talk and buy into what the republicans are saying, as well as listening to smart people not wanting to register to vote because of the failings of the democratic party, I no longer think there was a conspiracy. The American people actually voted to keep Bush in office. And now I am afraid, as I was afraid during the last election. The republicans are going to win.
Of course, the republican party wants people to be afraid. Not for the same reasons that I am afraid. But fear is a powerful motivator. Fear will drive all those survivalists people hiding in the woods but who are registered to vote to get out and vote and they will indeed vote. Fear may be driving me to such stark imagery but can you kinda get what I am saying? Then the people who are not impressed with democrats, who aren't registered to vote anyway, will stay at home making sanctimonious remarks about not having anyone to vote for. And poor Tina Fey will be doomed to play Palin for four years (eight years).
I was an Obama fan early on. I liked him better than Clinton. Though I may have felt better with a Obama/Clinton ticket(I am voting for Obama/Biden) I loved how the idea of Obama becoming president seemed to rally the people. The young people, the non-white community who generally feel voting in elections made no difference, the ones who previously felt that their voices were unheard. Or I watched that Will. I. Am. video too much. But people seemed to find hope in the idea of Obama as president. I loved it. Seeing hope on faces. But then Obama made that remark about small town people during a fundraiser. The guns and religion remark. I will agree that the remark is probably more true than not true but, again all those small town religious gun folk are all registered to vote and they will go out and vote. But not for Obama.
As the heat turns up and political manipulations are getting more desperate...I just don't know. I know perfection is not a reality in dealing with people. But I rather dislike the concept of democracy and of freedom that our country claims we have. Its the reason that many people weren't voting in the first place, they saw through the facade. Its the reason I wasn't voting. But, as I tell folks reluctant to register and vote, that reason wasn't working so its time to try something different. Perhaps if we all just admit that we have a faulty system...?
Some other thoughts: Obama is hugely popular because he is an african american. If he was a white man, would he have made it this far talking about change while having less experience?
Honestly, no. Poor Palin is trying the same trick as a woman. But (I think) its not working as well for her as it is for Obama. So Politics comes down to the devil you know as oppose to the one you don't know. And the American mob is saying we know the republicans.
And I'm afraid.
MONEY
I'm not afraid of the wall street crisis. or by Belgian InBev buying out Budweiser, the great American lager. I am not ignorant of what could happen...I just am not afraid. Granted I don't have any money, stocks, a house or anything. I went to a dinner/theater thing at my Alma Mater Oklahoma City University, sat by strange luck at the same table with the President of OCU, the Bishop of both Oklahoma conferences and the treasurer of the Oklahoma conference. Topics turned to money. The President of OCU, Tom McDaniels asked the Conference Treasurer what he thought. Brian said something about being responsible for either 6 or 10 million dollars of the conference's money. they talk about decisions about building houses about stocks. I listened politely but I don't have any money or a house. My church literally has no money. Am I the lucky one?
Worse comes to worse, we will survive in my conference because the majority of us have no money and we know how to make do. Though I feel bad for Brian and his millions of dollars of responsibility. It makes my stomach hurt to think about it. I actually can't tell if my thinking is off or not. It feels wrong but....
Its almost 2:00pm. I need to go get dressed and make some phone calls.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
So I went on vacation. It was nice. I went to Tuskahoma where the Oklahoma Choctaws had their labor day festival. Its a Choctaw word "Tushka" meaning "warrior" and "homa" meaning "red". Oklahoma means "red man or red people" I am half Oklahoma Choctaw and half Mississippi Choctaw but I identifiy more with the MS side and I tend to feel a little alien at OK Choctaw things. Its subtle differences, kinda like dialects, I suppose, but its enough to make me feel weird.Actually, now that I think about, I feel out of place with the MS choctaws because most of them speak choctaw and I don't. I fake it really well though. I laugh at the right place when a joke is told...
Anyway, I went camping for 6 days. Granted, it was more luxury camping. I mostly st
ayed in the air conditioned camper and slept, read books and watched movies. I had an allergy attack the first day and I milked it for the next 5. I went my mom, my aunt Bernie and aunt Lu. They are not actual aunts but I have no complaints. Thats aunt Lu on the far right in the purple mumu. She was so funny. She also stayed in the camper until it was evening and then she got all decked out to attend the free concerts. She would come back whooping and hollering. She is one feisty woman.(Huh. Feisty doesn't follow that "'I' before 'E' except after 'C'" rule)
We had little lights on our awning. I had fun. When I did emerge from the camper I went to see dancing choctaws. I don't know how to do any of the dances. I think some of it looks like complicated hopping and I don't really like to hop in an uncomplicated fashion so...its probably best that I am not all that into it...
My main complaint about the Oklahoma Choctaws is that they had a buffalo statue, buffalo rides and a teepee (is that spelled right?) out there. Yeah, we didn't hunt buffalo, or ride them or live in teepees. Its madness and talk about confusing people. They didn't have buffalo rides this year and I have never seen anyone ride a buffalo, so now I am kinda curious how thay did that...buffalos that I have seen are bigger than cars and are just big humps... (you spell buffalo a couple of times and it all looks wrong)
I also went to the choctaw Muesem. Apparently tattoos were more acceptable. And less clothing. I got in trouble from David Wilson (My Boss but kinda not really) because I mentioned in one of my classes I taught this summer that the dress I had was not original but that we (Choctaws) probably wore less clothing. I'm guessing here but its all hot and muggy in Mississippi. But he was mad cause he thinks non-native people think Indians were uncivilized and ran around naked. When I mentioned that we probably did run around mostly naked (again: hot and muggy) he almost blew a vein in his head. Can you say "issues"?
After further conversation which included me suggesting he speak to someone about his nakedness issues because being naked is ok, he now says I shouldn't have even been talking about the topic in my class.
The suggestion that he seek help kinda slipped out so I'm glad that's all he said.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Warning: It gets bitter....
You were warned...
Ok, I finally looked at mapquest. Stony Point is not upstate new York. Sorry Melissa. I think it is like just an hour from NYC. I have a tendency to think NY State just consists of NYC. I forget about the true upstate. I leave tomorrow. 4:00am from Clinton. I have to drive to OKC where my flight leaves at 6:30 ish...
I have to teach a 3-hour class on Native Americans and give a 10 min presentation on my thoughts and feelings on the song "As a Fire Meant for Burning" pg 2237 in The Faith We Sing.
I have written exactly 1 page of the 10 min presentation. I think I figured out why I wait til the last minute to write some of my stuff. If I write it earlier I will rewrite it until its all nice and neat and easy to preach/talk about. I have a bit of a stress headache about my 10 min presentation. Which sounds odd considering I am writing a reflection on a Ruth Duck song. But the thing is, I am also teaching a class on Native Americans and the not so happy history of the church...the relationship with the present day church.
So amid Ruth Duck's (I just love her name. I keep giggling when I say it...) pretty picture of the church's duties/responsibilities...history keeps popping up to keep me from singing Kum Ba Ya.
I think I am frustrated by the picture of what we could be but no one ever talks about what has happened and what needs to happen to get there. Like we can all forget who we are and just be this one big happy glob. I mean, I like her lyrics but its all too pretty. It doesn't mention how crappy this God business can get and even though it can get pretty crappy, crappiness isn't a good enough reason not to keep it up. People tend to want to do mission as a feel good action for themselves. It feels good to help poor little Indians. It feels good when the poor look at us with gratitude. How many people would continue to do mission if it didn't feel so dang good?
I am kinda tired of being everyones mission project and being expected to be grateful when I get mailed a bunch of stuff I can't use because no one bothered to ask what was needed. Being poor sucks. And no, I am not F*&^%^%# grateful. (Apparently females are not suppose to be potty mouths here in Oklahoma)
And I get the feeling that if we sing this song people are going to want to sit in a circle and hold hands, close their eyes and sway. Nothing wrong with that but I am not into that. I don't want to hold any one's hand. My mantra for the weekend "I do not have to hold anyones hand. I do not have to hold anyones hand."
Am I just bitter or do I have point? I am really asking too, if you have a thought you want to share...
Its 8:58 pm I have to go to bed at 10:oopm. I guess I better go write it...
On a happy note, I get to see one of my US-2 classmates. yeah!!!
Ok, I finally looked at mapquest. Stony Point is not upstate new York. Sorry Melissa. I think it is like just an hour from NYC. I have a tendency to think NY State just consists of NYC. I forget about the true upstate. I leave tomorrow. 4:00am from Clinton. I have to drive to OKC where my flight leaves at 6:30 ish...
I have to teach a 3-hour class on Native Americans and give a 10 min presentation on my thoughts and feelings on the song "As a Fire Meant for Burning" pg 2237 in The Faith We Sing.
I have written exactly 1 page of the 10 min presentation. I think I figured out why I wait til the last minute to write some of my stuff. If I write it earlier I will rewrite it until its all nice and neat and easy to preach/talk about. I have a bit of a stress headache about my 10 min presentation. Which sounds odd considering I am writing a reflection on a Ruth Duck song. But the thing is, I am also teaching a class on Native Americans and the not so happy history of the church...the relationship with the present day church.
So amid Ruth Duck's (I just love her name. I keep giggling when I say it...) pretty picture of the church's duties/responsibilities...history keeps popping up to keep me from singing Kum Ba Ya.
I think I am frustrated by the picture of what we could be but no one ever talks about what has happened and what needs to happen to get there. Like we can all forget who we are and just be this one big happy glob. I mean, I like her lyrics but its all too pretty. It doesn't mention how crappy this God business can get and even though it can get pretty crappy, crappiness isn't a good enough reason not to keep it up. People tend to want to do mission as a feel good action for themselves. It feels good to help poor little Indians. It feels good when the poor look at us with gratitude. How many people would continue to do mission if it didn't feel so dang good?
I am kinda tired of being everyones mission project and being expected to be grateful when I get mailed a bunch of stuff I can't use because no one bothered to ask what was needed. Being poor sucks. And no, I am not F*&^%^%# grateful. (Apparently females are not suppose to be potty mouths here in Oklahoma)
And I get the feeling that if we sing this song people are going to want to sit in a circle and hold hands, close their eyes and sway. Nothing wrong with that but I am not into that. I don't want to hold any one's hand. My mantra for the weekend "I do not have to hold anyones hand. I do not have to hold anyones hand."
Am I just bitter or do I have point? I am really asking too, if you have a thought you want to share...
Its 8:58 pm I have to go to bed at 10:oopm. I guess I better go write it...
On a happy note, I get to see one of my US-2 classmates. yeah!!!
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